Episode 5: The Secret Sauce of Staying a Normal Eater(*)
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[00:00:00] Welcome to the most important episode in this series. There is no tool more powerful in getting you to become a normal eater and even quicker than the work of managing your mind. If you are trying to stop overeating, but you're not paying attention to your thoughts, you're skipping the most important part because listen, your body might be in the kitchen, but it is your brain.
The thoughts that took you there. Now, what I see over and over again with my clients and what I lived for years is this belief that once I get to my goal weight, once I figure out the food, once I just get there, then I'll finally feel better.
I won't have any negative thoughts. I won't desire cake anymore, and I won't give into cravings because I'll just suddenly be a normal eater.
This is a load of garbage. It never works like that because you have to become a normal eater and to become her, you need to think like her. So let me ask you, what do you currently [00:01:00] think about food? Yourself. How do you think when life gets hard? How do you think when you overeat, when you have cravings, when you slip on your genes and they feel tighter than yesterday,
when the scale is up three pounds. Right now when those things happen to you, you have a collection of thoughts and those thoughts determine what you do next and what you do next. Your actions, they are what? Create your results. If you've ever told yourself, I just need to get my eating under control, and everything else will fall into place, I wanna flip that on its head.
'cause I'm telling you if you get your mind under control, everything else will follow. So in this episode, I wanna teach you the real reason you are overeating, the real reason you're sabotaging. And it's not because of cravings or stress or habits.
It is all about your thoughts. And when [00:02:00] you start to see this clearly, because I'm gonna teach this to you, it's how you will see that it's possible for you to become and stay a normal eater.
Let's talk about a real life example. You're a working woman. It's been a long day, back to back meetings, annoying emails. A coworker dropped the ball again, and now you're behind. You push through with barely enough time to grab lunch, and you didn't even enjoy it because you ate it at your desk while you were trying to catch up.
You get home and to your credit, you ate what you planned for supper, nothing dramatic. You followed your plan, but then it hits you. You are standing in the kitchen looking at the dishes or maybe opening the fridge to put something away and this thought pops in. I'm just so done. I need something to take the edge off.
Now, pay attention. That sentence is not a fact. It is a thought, and that thought, I need something to take the edge off. It creates a feeling. So maybe the feeling that you were having in the kitchen was [00:03:00] restless, drained, checked out, or edgy, . And when you felt that way, you had these thoughts about, I need something to take the edge off. When you had that thought, you felt very permissive. You felt justified, you felt excused to do that action, and you automatically grabbed the glass of wine or the few crackers or the ice cream bar in the freezer that you swore wasn't for you.
And that's the moment where most women think. This was just a stressful day. This is just who I am. I need to relax with food, but here's what I need you to see. It wasn't the stressful day that made you eat because there are women, who also had a long, annoying day and they didn't eat. How is it possible that me and other normal eating women can still have the same annoying day as you, but don't eat?
It's not because we're unicorns, it's because we have rewired our thinking. We have learned the skill of managing our mind, and how [00:04:00] that starts is by having a different thought.
Instead of, I just need this to relax. My next thought after that thought would be, yes, the day was hard, but I'm going to take a hot shower and rest. Or, I think what I really need is to just sit on the couch with a blanket and do nothing for 20 minutes, or maybe it's yeah, I think I just need to sit in this disappointment with how my day went and process that emotion for a few minutes. Same day, same fatigue. Different thoughts that is the power of a managed mind. So what I teach inside of my program is the ability to catch these thoughts before they carry you away.
I call this thought stacking. Thought. Stacking is when your brain takes one believable, permissive thought, like, I need something to take the edge off and stacks five more on top of it without you even noticing, I'm so tired, I can't do this again tomorrow. This isn't sustainable. I deserve something. One snack isn't gonna kill me.
And by the time you've had that little mental conversation, you're halfway through the Doritos.
Before we [00:05:00] dive deeper, let's take a quick break and when I return, I'm gonna reveal the surprising power behind specific thoughts that drive overeating and sabotage.
Alright, welcome back. Now here's what happens when you learn to manage your brain, and here's what it sounds like instead.
Hmm. That was an interesting thought. My brain just told me a glass of wine would help. This is where the prefrontal cortex kicks in that higher level of thinking, that [00:06:00] adult part of your brain that can pause and think about what you're thinking. It's the part of your brain that says, I'm exhausted, but what I need right now isn't food.
I need a break. I need a rest. I need to feel seen. I also might just need to sit in a little bit of disappointment with how my day went, and I can give that to myself. That's what normal eaters are doing. Not because they're better or because they have more willpower, but because they've practiced new thoughts.
They have learned a new way of feeling better, a way that does not involve hijacking their emotions with food. They recognize when they're in negative emotion, not just big emotions like anger or sadness, but even the more subtle ones too, like boredom, dread, uncertainty, or worry.
And instead of trying to escape those feelings with food. They pause, they feel they process
they don't need false pleasure, and you might be thinking, okay, wait, did you just say false pleasure? Chocolate after a long day. Feels really good, jc. [00:07:00] Here's the truth, that food will make you feel better momentarily, but it's temporary, it's manufactured, it's false. Just like the vibrating crystal glass analogy from the last episode, all that food is doing is dulling your emotional experience.
It's blurring it, muting it, giving you a short break from what you're actually feeling.
And do you ever notice that you're not reaching for carrots or hummus or kale after a long day? You're reaching for the Oreos, the cookies, the glass of wine. The chocolate. Why? Because these types of foods release a copious amount of dopamine in the reward center of your brain, and that dopamine makes everything for you, feel really good for a few moments. It doesn't solve the real problem.
It doesn't reduce your stress, it doesn't help you understand actually creating the stress in the first place, and that right there is the reason why you feel so powerless. So often you think your [00:08:00] emotions are just coming from your circumstances, your job, kids, money, relationships, your to-do list, but those are not the cause I.
Here is the most powerful concept I want you to take from this entire episode and honestly from this entire series. 'cause it will change your life if you can let it marinate your thoughts, create your emotions. Thoughts are sentences in your brain. Those thoughts are creating your feelings. You have about 60,000 of those thoughts every day, and most of those thoughts are actually recycled.
They're unconscious, they're old patterns running on autopilot, I want you to think about it this way. Your thoughts, because you have a mismanaged mind, are why you are overeating.
They're why you're emotional eating, but your thoughts are also the solution. They are the secret sauce to you becoming a normal eater. If you want to become that normal eater that you've been [00:09:00] trying so hard to be, you must work on your thought life. In fact thought work is at the core inside of my high proximity programs because you will start to rewire all of the old patterns that you have.
So the next time that you hear yourself think, I just need a little something, I want you to pause and remember that that sentence is your cue. You're not broken. You're just believing a thought, and the moment that you catch it. You are back in charge. You can simply say to yourself, oh, I just had a thought that I need something, and now I feel permissive.
That thought made me feel permissive. I almost went to the kitchen. Interesting. I wonder what's going on that's making me feel like I need an escape. Right. And oftentimes what is so cool is that that little dialogue, which is from your higher part of your brain, is all you need to create a little bit of space in your decision making That can create an entirely different result for you.
And more often than not, it's simply an [00:10:00] invitation to feel what is real.
Many of the women I work with discover that this alone begins to heal the relationship with themselves. I know that allowing negative emotions on purpose was so freeing for me because for years we've denied ourselves that moment of acknowledgement, the breath, the pause, the grace.
And the most powerful thing is that when you know that you created that feeling with your own thought, that's where the true self-trust begins. Because if you can create that feeling, you can also think something new and change it. You can allow the feeling instead of escaping it
this becomes one of the most radical forms of self-love. Instead of rushing away from disappointment, you could ask yourself, do I wanna keep this thought? That is creating that disappointment? Yeah. Actually, I do wanna feel a little disappointed because I liked that thought. I was really hoping to spend time with my husband, and now he blew me off to [00:11:00] watch the game.
That's okay. I'm gonna sit here and feel that disappointment for a few minutes, after that I'm gonna move on and I'm gonna consciously choose to think something better. ' cause I don't wanna be in disappointment all night, but right now it's okay that I can feel this 'cause I'm not afraid of feeling my emotions.
Here is where you get all of your power back when you realize you are in control of your emotional life. A hundred percent of the time. Now, I know that might sound simple, it might even feel a little overwhelming, but I promise you your entire world will start to change when you actually practice this. This is not about mastering your mind in one day, but it's about starting today because negative emotions will show up most days, and the sooner you build awareness around what you're feeling and what thought created it, the more powerful you become.
This is the exact work that I teach you inside of my programs. With this skill, you will become the woman who does not need food to cope. You create calm, you [00:12:00] create trust, and you create the emotional life that makes normal eating feel natural.
Okay, quick recap. Managing your mind is the thing that makes every other tool work because when life throws you curve balls and it will. You need a brain that knows how to respond like a normal eater. A normal feeler. A normal thinker. You need a brain that can pause before the pantry, that can sit with an urge instead
solving it with food that can tell the truth gently without spiraling into shame. This my friend, is not something you learn in a 10 minute podcast.
This is something we practice together using specific life coaching tools that I teach. That's why in the 10, 10, 10 accelerator thought work is introduced in week two for a reason. Because this isn't surface level advice. This is the root system for everything we build upon. You'll start applying it in real time inside every coaching session, and you'll begin to see, ah, yes.
[00:13:00] That's why I keep quitting. This is the thought that always throws me off. This is why I self-sabotage, and you'll also see how to change it for good. Every single client who's changed their life with me mentions this. It was the thought work, not the plan, not just the method, it's the ability to change your brain.
That is the transformation.
And it's also why I have zero hesitation when somebody says, working with you is an investment. Yes it is, and it should be. ' I'm not teaching you how to just follow two steps and summon more willpower.
I'm teaching you how to manage the one thing that will determine the quality of your life. Because life, my friend is experienced in your mind how we experience our life is through our emotions.
And that is what my offering is to you to work on your biggest asset, which is your brain. If you don't know how to manage it, it doesn't matter how perfectly you eat, you'll keep quitting when life gets hard. You'll [00:14:00] keep doubting yourself every time you make a mistake. You'll keep waiting for motivation to come.
Instead of learning how to create it, manufacture it with your own thinking, that's the shift and that's the work we get started doing in the accelerator. Let me help you bridge the gap from where you are now to where you are meant to be
because You're either overeating with your thoughts or normal eating with your thoughts.
So friend, if there's a voice in you right now saying, this is me. This is what I need, this is the work in front of me, then take this as your sign, not a someday sign and now sign. You actually don't need more time. You need momentum. You need 10 powerful weeks, 10 powerful tools. That is all the momentum you need to become the normal eater. And if that's you, click the link in the show notes to join. I will see you in the next episode, which is gonna speak to one of the most frustrating obstacles to overcome on your pursuit to waking a normal eater.
